Tales of my time as an English language assistant in France!

Friday, January 7, 2011

What is up with French swimming pools?

I'm not sure if I just went to a strict one ('cos it was really a training pool, and not an 'enjoy lounging around' one, although there were some cute kids there having a good time with their parents) or if this is a serious cultural difference.

But check out all the rules...

1) Take your shoes off BEFORE you go into the changing room.
2) You must have a shower before you swim.
3) You have to wear a swimming cap. That really took me back to primary school.
4) You're not allowed to wear boardshorts... this one cut me deep.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Biggest Haves

Paris: Spending ages in the Metro (due to complications) to get to Pere Lachaise cemetary and finding it closed.

Montpellier: Paying 5E for parking to a club, waiting in line for about 10 mins to be told we couldn't get in.

The blimmin' cancelled pub quiz that we'd just asked about a day or so before!

IKEA. Seriously, I wanted to go and have a look at the shop for curiosity's sake. About halfway through, I wanted to get out again. It took forever! It's a maze!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The 'Bonus' Day!: Day 4

Was quite stoked that I was gonna have friends for this day, instead of being a loner (as I'd anticipated, lol).

Nicole was determined to check out Galeries Lafayette, so this was the first stop. Very flash, lots of nice Xmas decos, and a cool deck with views over Paris.



Had to do the clichéd thing and get right up to the Eiffel Tower. Had thought about climbing up, but there were huge queues (there had been strikes the previous few days, so I think EVERYONE was there the moment they stopped) so gave up that idea and just did a photo mission, while trying to avoid the trinket-sellers, petition-peddlers and bracelet-sellers.


Another Xmas market mission for lunch, where we discovered the Aveyronnais specialities: aligot and farçou. As they'd say here, 'c'était trop bon' (it was too tasty!). It's like cheesy mashed potato and some yummy pork-ish patty (but it somehow doesn't taste particularly meaty). Definitely worth a try if you get the chance!



Nicole and Agnes then had to head off for their plane, so I decided to go on a wee trip to Montmartre. I think everyone who has seen Amélie wants to go to Montmartre... Was determined just to have a look at the place, especially the Sacré Coeur. Bit of a hike to get up to it from the métro, but I probably needed it after all the tempting food about. Had trouble motivating Kingi, though. As they say, "les escaliers de la Butte sont dures aux miséreux" (the stairs up to the Butte- ie Sacré Coeur -are hard for the destitute... I fear that's a bad translation, but just listen to 'Complainte de la Butte' from Moulin Rouge. Had it in my head the whole time!)



As you'll see from the below photo, it wasn't the best day for me to go and get a panoramic view of Paris, but still cool. Some pretty blimmin impressive paintings and stained-glass windows in this place.



Decided to wander down a street packed with tacky tourist shops and, sure enough, got sucked in by something. What I wasn't counting on was the shopkeeper, who began by asking where I was from (his first guess was Spain), going on to ask what my name was, and to tell me that I was very charming and beautiful, especially when I smiled.

Anywho, back onto the métro and back to the hostel so I could check out the Canal St Martin right beside it... another recommendation from a friend in Saint Gaudens. It was weird, though, how time had suddenly started going really slowly. Anyway, I was quite glad, and set off down the canal, making the most of some photo-taking.




Was getting really suspicious though as, although it gets dark early here in winter, it seemed way too dark to be 4.40pm. Grabbed my phone and, sure enough, my watch had stopped. Eeek! Momentary panic, until I realised I'd only lost 40 minutes, and I still had plenty of time to get to the station for my train to Montpellier.

I was a little bit confused on the train, about how they kept apologising for the delay when, as far as I was concerned, there wasn't one. And they'd double-booked my seat. So, I kinda think that I may have somehow got on an earlier, delayed train to Montpellier that ended up leaving about the time mine was supposed to. Still not entirely sure, and who cares, 'cos it was easy enough to find another seat, and I got to Montpellier.

Met up with Sabrina... then pretty much straight to bed, as she was already sick, and it was about 10.40pm when I arrived!

Funniest trip moments/quotes

Nicole: Well, what would you say to a girl if you wanted to romance her?
Ben: Your hair looks f*cking cool.

Nicole, in mid-conversation with newfound French friend, Laurent, turning to Agnes and chatting to her in French... despite the fact that Agnes doesn't speak French.

"Okay, Disneyland on speed!" (IE we didn't get up early enough and we now have to be focussed to get the most out of it).

Nicole getting almost desperate enough to push small children out of the way to get a photo with Disney characters.

Anything that happened in the couple of hours after we drank the champagne at Moulin Rouge. C'est féerique! But especially when Nicole and Agnes checked their flight time and found out it was at about 3pm, not 11am... they therefore pretty much had an extra day in Paris, and hadn't even realised!

Flirtatious waiter at the beach in Montpellier, who had worked out that I was an English speaker: (Across the restaurant as we left) "Would you like to try a French kiss?"

Falls at the ice-skating rink. I think the best one was one of Sabrina's friends, Abou, who stumbled, recovered, grabbed the side of the rink, yet still somehow ended up on his bum on the ice!

Doing Alicia Keys' Fallin' at Xmas market karaoke. I was by myself, and I like karaoke... I thought "I'm gonna walk out of this room and never see these people again. What the heck. I'll do it."

Trying to learn to 'zouk' and realising very quickly that Sabrina had fairly accurately described the dance: "You have to be really close to each other. It pretty much looks like you're having sex on the dancefloor!"

After our NYE night clubbing, Abou insisting on getting Sabrina to tell him how to say everything in English... very slow conversations!

EuroDisney/Happy bday Nicole: Day 3

Getting up was hard... thankfully, our good old church bells once again reinforced the alarms we'd set. Got downstairs and found the cool Brazillian, Felipe, that we'd met last night, and who had decided he wanted to come with us.

We hadn't really factored in the time that the métro/TER to Disneyland would take... spent about an hour getting there, and then it was midday. And snowing, and cold.
But, let's not complain, 'cos it's DISNEYLAND! Woohoo, total chance to be a kid again!



Nicole was determined to go on rides... pity that the roller-coasters were closed due to weather conditions! However, we managed to go on Pirates rides (necessity!), to Aladdin's cave... I'm probably missing stuff.



Anyway, then we were hungry, so we went on a burger mission. Because that's what people wanted. Anywho, we got in to see big, big queues, but figured it was fast food, so all good. Felipe and I went in one queue, Agnes and Nicole in the other. For once in my life, I picked the good queue! Still have no idea what the hold-up in the girls' queue was, but Felipe and I had finished eating our lunch by the time they got theirs. Totally bizarre.

Fitted in a couple more rides: flight simulator, Mad Hatter's Teacups... also a few photos and a toffee apple. It was necessary, ok?





Caught the 5pm Disney parade (of AWESOMEness) and then pretty much had to skedaddle to get back to the hostel and head out again for an epic night.

Next mission: Xmas market (on speed). It was a speed dinner, as we had about half an hour. Huzzah for mulled wine and French delicacies of all kinds. Here we have a delicious Savoyarde (at least, I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I ate so much good stuff that I can't remember any more).



Then, the evening of a lifetime at Moulin Rouge. Heck yes. We did get in, despite the doormen trying to play with us and tell us that our tickets were for the previous night. Was about to get defensive when they started winking at us over the top of Nicole's head... they left her to stew for a little bit longer.



We were told to get there about 10pm, even though the show wasn't 'til 11pm. What a have, lol. First we waited outside, then inside, then only just after 11pm did we get into the room. Felt rather classy, though, seated at our table, lamplight casting a warm glow, with waiters coming and bringing us champagne.

No photos allowed duruing the show, but it was epic. Cabaret: where have you been all my life?! Lots of singing, lots of dancing, not much clothing (at least, on the women. I think that, in the interest of equality between the sexes, the males should have worn less clothing). People hanging from the ceiling in harnesses, singing songs of eternal love, a man and woman doing amazing, Cirque-du-Soleil-style lifts, a hard-case ventriloquist... Just cool.

Plus, the champagne was included in the ticket price. And, since it was pricey, we felt obliged to drink what they gave us.



When we got back to the hostel and Nicole and Agnes checked when their flight was the next day, they found that it was about 5 hours later than they'd thought. Ie they pretty much had an extra day. Trust me, it's twice as funny after champagne. Everything's funnier after champagne. Even going back into a room full of sleeping hostellers makes you giggle. Oops.

Severe Weather and Metro Madness: Day 2

As we were only in Paris for about 3 days, we were hoping to fit as much in as possible in terms of sightseeing, and had put together a few ideas at last night's midnight dinner. The alarm was set for 8am but it turned out that the bells from the nearby church were far more effective. However, after that luck was not on our side. We got down into the métro to find that there were problems on the line we wanted to take due to weather conditions. So we waited for a bit... nothing changed. Went the other way, swapped lines... Somehow, all of this took about an hour and a half.

Then we went to the Pere Lachaise cemetery. I say'went to,' because we arrived to find the gates closed, and a sign saying it was closed due to bad weather.






So, we 'went to' the cemetery, but we didn't actually get to see anything more than the gates. But I guess it still counts. I'm still going to claim that "I've been".
After this, we headed back into town (with a greater degree of métro success, except for when we had to get off a couple of stops too early due to the discovery of a "colis suspect" -suspicious package- on one line) and wandered, hoping to find Nôtre Dame. We weren't having much luck with this, but we did find a crêperie for lunch. With a waiter who corrected our French. Lol.
Then we headed off to the Pompidou Centre: a modern art museum.It was even free entry! So we wandered for a bit, to do the cultured thing. There were some weird, weird things there. Eg a whole room full of sex-themed paintings, a room full of bizarre videos (1 example: a naked woman holding a chicken that was flapping its wings...?!). Personally, my favourite part of the Pompidou Centre was the views it offered over Paris.




We were then joined by Laurent (the nice young Frenchman from the taxi). With his help, we got our photo taken with a French soldier (must check whether he put that pic up on facebook), found Notre Dame and went for a walk-through (although we kept losing each other in the crowds!) and then went for a ride on the merry-go-round.
Rushed off back to the hostel to get ready for dinner, as I had a restaurant recommendation from a friend in Saint Gaudens: Bouillon Chartier. It opened in the 1890s some time, and used to be a canteen for 'blue-collar workers.' One review I read said that its food could be "politely described as unambitious," but it was very affordable! At the reception desk for the hostel, Nicole and Agnes ran into a couple of Americans that they'd met the previous night. Turns out that they'd also been thinking of going to a restaurant. They were immediately invited to join our party. What with them, a Kiwi friend Nicole's, and his friend, we ended up with a decent-sized group. Given that I was in charge of Métro navigation and finding the place, I was starting to feel the pressure! Lol.
Arrived to find a huge queue up to the restaurant, but those who had a look at the menu seemed convinced... once we translated it for them. So, we decided to at least get in the queue and see how fast it was moving. Then something miraculous happened. A waitress came down the line asking how many people were in each group. When Nicole said 7, we were promptly walked past many waiting customers, and into the restaurant.

At first, we got the impression that the waiter wasn't too impressed with us (possibly 'cos it took us an age to order due to French-only menu and only 2 French speakers in the group), but he was actually awesome...

Check out how they do the bill in this place though. Yes, this is our tablecloth. And, yes, he jotted down all the prices from memory. And, no, he did not use a calculator to add it up.


With everyone trying to pay in cash, we somehow ended up with more money than we needed in the middle (even taking a tip into account), so had 15E left and decided the best way to divide it between us was to convert it into alcohol! Mulled wine at Xmas market was looking like a serious option, until we got there and it was closed.
Alternative mission: Eiffel tower. Got to the edge of the Seine just as it started sparkling for midnight (and Nicole's bday) so had a bit of a photo mission.

Successful money to alcohol conversion at a corner store on the way back to the hostel.

A few drinks, and then us girls realised that we should really go to bed so we could make the most of Disneyland the next... uh, later on that day!

Epic Transport Fail: Day 1

The whirlwind that was the Paris Trip begins... I was sharing a cabin on the train with a couple of guys who looked African, and asked me if I drank rum. They had a few swigs during the trip, and were kind enough to offer me some (which I politely refused). They were also kind enough to put my big suitcase up on the rack for me. :)

When I eventually got to Paris (everyone loves 7-hour train rides), I managed to successfully navigate the métro network (with my huge suitcase) and get to the closest stop to the hostel. It wasn't snowing, but there was a decent layer of snow on the ground, and I was feeling whingey after the long-train-ride-crowded-métro-trying-to-pull-wheely-suitcase-through-snow mission. Fortunately, the hostel wasn't far away.






Nicole, the Kiwi friend I was meeting, had texted me earlier to say that she and her friend Agnes were at a distant Parisian airport but couldn't get into Paris because of the snow.

And then, to top it all off, my dorm room was full of Australians! Nah, just kidding... I was actually quite stoked to see the Aussies and have a chat with them. One even let me use his laptop, which was much appreciated, internet-deprived as I am.

Nicole had been keeping me updated... they were now in a taxi, but stuck in traffic! So, I was advised not to wait for them for dinner! Had also met some cool Chileans in the dorm room and, when I went downstairs, they were going to have dinner, so invited me to eat with them. Mmm, pizza. Didn't practise my Spanish though (except for a little bit of listening!) as they were determined to speak English for me, lol. And they were all pretty good, too.

Finally, about 11pm, Nicole and Agnes arrived. They were, understandably, frustrated, as they'd spent most of the day stuck in an airport, then a 1-hour taxi ride had turned into a 3-hour, very expensive one. Lucky they were sharing the taxi with a couple of others (including a nice young Frenchman...).

However, they were still determined to see something of Paris that night, so off we went to the Champs Elysées, in the hope of getting something to eat at the Xmas market. It was just shutting... so, we ended up at a pizzeria. It was midnight by this stage. Nicole tried a very French steak tartare (ie raw: brave girl). As I had already eaten, I contented myself with an apératif.




We were in a hurry to leave the resto as we wanted to get the last métro, and were running off when a waiter came into the street waving a 5 pound note that Nicole had accidentally put down, and saying we couldn't pay with that. He then jokingly complained about being cold outside, so I had to hug the poor man to keep him warm.

Fortunately, we got the métro, and some well-earned rest!